Missing Filbert

After we miscarried my friend Mandy who has been though a great deal of loss herself advised me to keep the blog up and going. She said it was a good way to vent and get your feelings out. Well I have yet to do that because I am not one to just let it all out, but lately I have been pretty down so bare with me while I get some things off of my chest.

Right after we found out we were expecting I started calling the baby Peanut because that is what my mom called me when I was little. When we were home for the weekend I told my mom this and she said, "you can't call it Peanut, that is you." So we threw some other nut names around and after coming up with Cashew, Mark yelled out Filbert! Well, Filbert stuck and I would always talk to Filbert on the way to work and we would talk to Filbert at night before we went to bed. It is funny how fast you fall in love the second you know there is someone growing inside of you.

Most days are good days, but lately I have been having some sad days. Maybe it has just been because of all of this gloomy weather. I am having a lot of "what ifs" and thinking of how things would have been. By now I would have been 15 weeks pregnant and we would have found out what we were having in May. I guess it is just hard for me to think about events that I had planned on being pregnant for....my friend Kate's wedding in June, 4th of July, and the thought of having a baby with us for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is crazy how in the short time I knew I was pregnant I had all of the holidays visualized and all of these dreams of how life would be. I do realize that someday this will all happen, but right now I am still a little down about what would have been this year. I know that God has a plan for us and our family and that it will all happen according to His plan, but for now I am still sad. Anyway, sorry for the gloomy post.

I found this quote online and it put a smile on my face. It seemed very fitting to my situation right now.

"Have faith in your dreams and someday your RAINBOW will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

I hope we get our rainbow soon! :)

Keep sending prayers our way and thanks for reading.

Love,
Mark & Missy

Patio Updates!

For the past couple of weeks Mark & I (well mostly Mark) have been working on improving and updating the deck. Mark took down the old railing, added a step, re-stained the deck and then yesterday we got new patio furniture! Here are some pictures of our new outdoor living space:

Sorry the pictures were taken at about 8:30pm so it is a little hard to see. We still have to do all of the landscaping around the deck and put some more grass seed down, but it is coming along.

On a different note:
Baseball season is in full swing for Mark's 8th grade team. They are 3-1 so far. This week they had games Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and then a double header on Saturday so he is staying pretty busy. This weekend we are having some friends over for a cookout. My friend Ally who lives in Korea is back in the states for a visit so I am excited to get a chance to spend some time with her. I hope everyone has a good weekend and hopefully we don't get as much rain as they say we are going to!

Love,
Mark & Missy

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Happy 85th Birthday to my Grandpa Bob today!

Happy Easter

Never too old for Easter....

Mark & I headed up to Logansport this weekend. We knew going into the weekend that we wouldn't be sticking around for all of the Easter celebrations, but we still wanted to make the trip up to see our family. While at home I stopped up to visit my Grandpa and Grandma C. and let me just say that Grandma C. never lets you down! She knew I wouldn't be making it to Easter today and had a bag of eggs labeled with my initials and Mark's (everything has to be fair)!!! I opened all of the eggs, some had candy, some money and some little pieces of paper with the gift we would receive on them! Here is a picture of our loot:

It is so great to be surrounded by such an awesome family. We are sad that we didn't get to see everyone this weekend, but we will be making plenty of trips back and forth in the next couple of months so we will be visiting everyone again very soon. I hope everyone had a great Easter!

Love,
Mark & Missy