Right after we found out we were expecting I started calling the baby Peanut because that is what my mom called me when I was little. When we were home for the weekend I told my mom this and she said, "you can't call it Peanut, that is you." So we threw some other nut names around and after coming up with Cashew, Mark yelled out Filbert! Well, Filbert stuck and I would always talk to Filbert on the way to work and we would talk to Filbert at night before we went to bed. It is funny how fast you fall in love the second you know there is someone growing inside of you.
Most days are good days, but lately I have been having some sad days. Maybe it has just been because of all of this gloomy weather. I am having a lot of "what ifs" and thinking of how things would have been. By now I would have been 15 weeks pregnant and we would have found out what we were having in May. I guess it is just hard for me to think about events that I had planned on being pregnant for....my friend Kate's wedding in June, 4th of July, and the thought of having a baby with us for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is crazy how in the short time I knew I was pregnant I had all of the holidays visualized and all of these dreams of how life would be. I do realize that someday this will all happen, but right now I am still a little down about what would have been this year. I know that God has a plan for us and our family and that it will all happen according to His plan, but for now I am still sad. Anyway, sorry for the gloomy post.
I found this quote online and it put a smile on my face. It seemed very fitting to my situation right now.
"Have faith in your dreams and someday your RAINBOW will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream that you wish will come true."
I hope we get our rainbow soon! :)
Love,
Mark & Missy
Sending prayers and love to you both!!!
ReplyDeleteLove Em
You make me cry...for all that was lost...but we are still here...still family...and still love each other.
ReplyDeleteLife is a complicated journey but sometimes, it is the simpliest things that hurt us the most and at those times, remember every day is a new chance for dreams to come true.
Love you,
Mom
Don't you feel better? It helps, but yet, it still hurts....
ReplyDeleteAwww, Miss...I wish I could give you a great big hug right now!!!
ReplyDeleteI know I haven't been through the kind of loss and pain that you have and I'm not sure anything I can say will help or make you feel better, but I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the "what-ifs" and dreams for your future. I used to think about that all of the time. Little did I know what was lying ahead for us! :) Your rainbow will definitely come and he/she is going to be so loved and lucky to have you as a mom! Love you!!!
Hugs! I also have not had that kind of loss, but I think anytime you lose someone, you have the "what ifs." I love how you talked to the baby and loved him/her right away. It's so true that does happen. It's an indescribable love that never goes away. It will happen again for you really soon. I'm sure of it.
ReplyDelete